Conditions:

Whatever

Built by:

JOSE??  WHAT HAPPENED MAN?

Options:

Spicy.  Not that it mattered this time.

Weight: 1

Skinny model-types turn me off. 

Appearance: 4

Fucking beautiful to look at.  Terrible in bed. 

Freshness:  3

Fine.  Whatever. 

Build Quality:  2

Boy, don’t I feel stupid.   I went into the health sandwich store today still glowing, riding the high of yesterday’s sandwich, eagerly anticipating another session of hot sandwich loving.   Today should have been even BETTER – it was going to be an eat-in day, and eat-in health sandwiches are as scrumptious-looking as those photos on the covers of the ghetto booty magazines in the windows of the subway platform newsstands.   I watched eagerly as Jose built it up. 

Man was I disappointed.  This thing was about as much fun as hanging out at a bar on Second Avenue in the Eighties with your accountant.  And to make matters worse now my clothes smell like falafel frying oil.  Whatever, dude.

Bonus Points: 0

Yeah right

Total: 10/5 = 2.0

Editors Note:  It’s hard to describe the universal outpouring of outrage at the sight of Kate Mossberg here.  Every single member of the Health Sandwich Blog Team is shocked and confused.  Seriously.  “What the fuck is that?? Is that even a health sandwich?”  ” Holy shit.  Really?”  These are just a few examples of the reaction we’re seeing after today’s total ball-dropping.  What the fuck.

Is the health sandwich running through their veins…?

Pre-Health Sandwich consumption.  Hot sauce on the side is a must.  I like to have it rest like little raindrops throughout the beastly pita.

Hummus in hiding? …..very little on my sandwich today and thank Moses for that…it tasted like a stinky sock.

Today there was an abundance of pepper on my cucumbers.  Gave them an added zing.  Plus they were nice to look at.

This mystery flake appeared in my hot sauce….tasted like paper.

pondering the health sandwich.

His name is Jose. Not Hector, as we’d referred to him in the past. Our bad.

that we never contribute to.