Conditions:
Whatever
Built by:
JOSE?? WHAT HAPPENED MAN?
Options:
Spicy. Not that it mattered this time.
Weight: 1
Skinny model-types turn me off.
Appearance: 4
Fucking beautiful to look at. Terrible in bed.
Freshness: 3
Fine. Whatever.
Build Quality: 2
Boy, don’t I feel stupid. I went into the health sandwich store today still glowing, riding the high of yesterday’s sandwich, eagerly anticipating another session of hot sandwich loving. Today should have been even BETTER – it was going to be an eat-in day, and eat-in health sandwiches are as scrumptious-looking as those photos on the covers of the ghetto booty magazines in the windows of the subway platform newsstands. I watched eagerly as Jose built it up.
Man was I disappointed. This thing was about as much fun as hanging out at a bar on Second Avenue in the Eighties with your accountant. And to make matters worse now my clothes smell like falafel frying oil. Whatever, dude.
Bonus Points: 0
Yeah right
Total: 10/5 = 2.0
Editors Note: It’s hard to describe the universal outpouring of outrage at the sight of Kate Mossberg here. Every single member of the Health Sandwich Blog Team is shocked and confused. Seriously. “What the fuck is that?? Is that even a health sandwich?” ” Holy shit. Really?” These are just a few examples of the reaction we’re seeing after today’s total ball-dropping. What the fuck.
Health sandwich, I hardly recognize ye.
By: Quang on March 26, 2010
at 20:45
When did they start putting cauliflower and Hunt’s ketchup on these things? And more importantly, why was I not informed about these changes?
Jose, you’re fired.
By: henryhummus on March 26, 2010
at 20:49
There apparently is some sort of obscene difference between the Health Sandwich To-Go and Health Sandwich To-Stay. Victheshoog, are you sure they didn’t mess up your order?
By: Quang on March 26, 2010
at 20:51
I demand a refund.
By: victheshoog on March 26, 2010
at 20:53